How to Determine the Worst

It has to have the Capacity to be Something Good

I’d like you to imagine the worst movie you’ve seen recently. Then I want you to think about the experience you had while watching it. Now I want you to consider that I’m showing you a movie. It is a ninety minute movie, where I put a camera facing a mostly deserted highway. There are no cuts. It is one continuous ninety minute shot of highway. We got lucky while filming and a semi truck ventured into the frame of the shot and then out. It accounted for two minutes of the movie. You spent eighty-eight minutes watching an empty road and two minutes watching a semi.

As featured from Spotified, for people who like his movie music? (link)

It Has to Fail to Achieve Its Own Goals

When I watched Punch Drunk Love by Adam Sandler I had rented it from Blockbuster. I rented the movie, because I thought it would be a silly and bad Adam Sandler movie. Instead I got something extremely dry, slow, and deep. I wanted a bag of chips and the movie was wine testing for hours. I just wanted to be drunk.

A thing of absolute beauty (link)
…. (Link)

It Has to do Both Spectacularly

Keep in mind most movies are just average or bad. They aren’t worth any real note. The same is true of video games, books, or any medium. I’m focusing on movies, because they’re one of the most accessible mediums with a history of open critique. I think as a culture everyone engages with movies and that isn’t necessarily true for fiction or comics or games or a thousand other niche markets.

Rotten Tomatoes suggests Ecks Vs. Sever.

I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it. — “North” is a bad film — one of the worst movies ever made. But it is not by a bad filmmaker, and must represent some sort of lapse from which Reiner will recover — possibly sooner than I will.

And this quotation and the full review highlight everything I’ve talked about here. North featured some A-list actors and a good filmmaker. The guy who made Princess Bride created this abomination of a movie. And when I watched it, I didn’t have a bad experience. I didn’t have one because I had no idea who was in it, who directed it, or what to expect. It wasn’t good. But since my anticipation was so low, the disappointment didn’t really hit that hard. It was just okay to me and on the light side of bad.

Faye’s Worst Movie Ever Made

Not my highway movie, but like the movie I found to be the worst. When I write articles like this, I always look up what other people are thinking. I like to get the feel for if my opinions are in line with general thoughts on the manner and typically when it comes to movies they aren’t. I’m pretty normal when it comes to books or video games and I tend to like the fantasy books people like or the indie games folks like. So, I’m not a total wanker hipster, just so you know.




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Faye Seidler

Faye Seidler

I write essays on literature, pop culture, and video games. I mostly deconstruct and do comparative analysis on many topics in both a serious and goofy way.